Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Gas We Pass

Why is it that the minute I fart someone appears?  Not just a normal, kind fart either.  I'm talking the hot, silent, stinky ones.  The SBD's of Assland.  I'm alone all evening at work except when I have to scan a patient.  I sit in my "control room" and mind my own everything waiting for my pager to go "beep beep beep" in the night.  On a really sloooooooow night I check the web, read a book, check the web some more and no one even comes near me or my four walls. 

Then the gas kicks in.  Heats up.  And stinks rotten hell!  POOF goes the fart and POOF appears a person.  It's not just work either.  At home I'll let one fly and within seconds there's a knock at the door.  And weirdest of all, I swear sometimes after laying a vapor pooper in my car a passenger will all of the sudden be sitting next to me.  How is that?


  1. My mom use to fart all the time when we would be looking at cards at the Hallmark Stores. She would be looking at her own cards, and I would wander over to her and then realize she had farted. I soon learned the only reason she moved sections in the store was because she would fart in one location and have to move to another!

    Farts have an attitude of their own.

  2. oh but isn't it a great relief to have those farts gone! You can almost feel your stomach go down. A REALLY GOOD FRIEND of mine here, just told me a story of herself farting a nasty one in bed, held the covers down so it wouldnt waft its aroma up to her head and her CAT CAME AND POUNCED ON THE BED JUST IN RIGHT TIMING so she had to endure her own stench....Karma...aint it great:-)