Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day-glo Blue

I don't feel very inspired to write tonight, so in fear of writing crap I'm just gonna take this time to thank the makers of the ultrasound gel I use.  I have been "on the gel" for about nine and a half years if you count school.  For at least five of those years I've complained about not being able to see the wet goop because I work in a dimly lit room.  I tend to use about four to six ounces on one patient alone and when I'm done, believe you me, they want to be DRY as DRY can be.  It's astounding how many people care about a little cold slime left behind on a piece of clothing or under their bra.  I know it feels icky.  And I'm sorry and I tried to get it all off but don't you have other shit to bitch about? Like the fact that you are in the emergency room AGAIN because you ovulated and it hurt.  Or the fact that you might have a blood clot in your leg and that gel on your briefs ain't gonna matter once they start pokin' and proddin' and not letting you sleep during your 3 day heparin stay.  A recent elderly woman asked that I please be careful not to get the stuff on her new undies.  I try to reassure patients by explaining that it's made mostly of water- it doesn't stain and it will dry.  Or I just joke it off by saying "ya, I sure wish they'd make this stuff glow in the dark..ha ha ha..." then I throw a towel at them so they can help out since it is in fact easier to feel the gooey muck than to see it. 

Well guess what?  Praise the lord jesus christ allelujah (lights shining down from heaven and all) cause the gel is now a sort of day-glo aqua blue color!  Or teal.  Doesn't matter, cause I can see it.  I feel kinda bad, actually, because I now see just how much I really do use on one patient and it drips into places I didn't even venture to go.  And that's another thing!  They made it thicker so that it doesn't take off running down someones flank area and seep into the part of their shirt that I forgot to conceal with a towel.  It is a viscous utopia!  I'm ecstatic.  Euphoric!  YAY ME!  YAY GOO!  It's a happy marriage at last.  Ah yes, it's the little things.  Thank you.

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