I'm trying, I really am. I've been sticking with the book, the one about being from different planets. It started to hit home and make some sense and I could really relate to it. I just can't seem to remember what I read when it comes time to apply the advice in real life, here on Earth. I want badly to nag my man with "have you done this yet? Can you do that soon?" but the book says absolutely not, under any circumstances do that because that makes him feel as though you don't trust him to take of things himself. But I don't! And if he's to go to his cave and I need him for something I can't trust he'll come out by himself! What about MY needs? I want to stop myself from saying things I know might upset him BUT I CAN NOT. It's going to take a lot of work. I can word things differently, that I'm good at. I can word things carefully. Oy. It doesn't help either, that a good portion of the time I'm reading I relate more to the Martians than the Venutians. Hmph. Harrrrumph. Pbbbblt.
Recently I spoke with a relative of mine who said that way back when the book came out there was some controversy because the author claimed to be a doctor and really isn't one. Or maybe he got some shabby degree or certificate that didn't actually count. So the book is his theory? He does share several examples pertaining to his wife and marriage. I dunno. I'll pick it up again soon because it does help me feel normalcy. Relationships have waves and cycles and sometimes they go together and often times not. Sunday night my cycle didn't jive with my mans but then Monday it came together. It's a constant thing. We'll be alright and we both know it. We are trying to understand one another. We are trying to accentuate one another. Sometimes we both just lack the ability to do any of it.
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Food for thought...should this all be so hard? Have you asked yourself if you honestly really really want to be in this spot? Forever is a long time. Have you ever kept a diary of grading each day for a month and giving it a 1-10 grading on how you feel about the relationship each day...may help you to see just where your feelings are as i think you may be questioning yourself. Sometimes there's chapters in life, and sometimes there's books. And sometimes chapters will have diff characters the farther you get in the book of life. So there's some food for thought to pick out of your teeth later!
ReplyDeleteI have OFTEN wondered if "it" should be this hard. Then I remind myself of the multiple relationships that weren't hard and how I became complacent and bored. My man has many needs that I don't require but I feel it's up to me, with his patience and understanding, to figure it out, or at least try my hardest to. I want to make him happy. I love the domino effect of his happiness. Not to mention that although he is difficult to figure out, he has gone to great lengths to understand me and he keeps it all going. He hasn't given up on me when he sooo easily could have. It's work, but I'm punched in and on the clock. I wouldn't enjoy coasting down the hill had I not had to pedal up it first. Very valid comment though!
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